Saturday, January 8, 2011
Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands
(Simple, dumb trailer for PoP:Forgotten Sands. Shows how much flashier and overblown things have to be now in order to make one of the royal family run across walls and into the arms of legions of sand monsters.)
So, to cash in on the poorly thought out PoP film (seriously, did you guys even PLAY the game or did you just base the movie off the box art?!), Ubisoft in all their immense wisdom released a retconning sequel to the original game that phases out the existence of PoP2 & PoP3.
Messy, but effective if they're going to drive their brand name into a specific direction. But that direction seems to be poorly trying to ape the original game, think a slightly BETTER idea than Superman Returns, but still as ludicrously stupid. Now, before I sound too harsh, I popped FS into my 360 and only stopped when I realized I needed to get ready for work because it was now morning. Morning three days later.
(Blah, blah, Blah... shut up and show him rewinding after a painful death involving spikes and saw blades. These Ubisoft tools write all kinds of checks that the game itself can't cash, but they touch on some comparative notes and give some looks at what the gameplay itself actually looks like.)
The lion's share of the elements that made PoP into a phenomenon rather than JUST a game are still present like the EVIL punishing platform puzzles, parkour style crowd combat (a minor revision to the original), mystical powers over elemental forces, the ability to freeze water solid to use as climbing and jumping surface and most importantly the ability to rewind time in order to solve puzzles and save the Prince from one of the many gruesome deaths you'll certainly suffer scrambling about the castle in this game.
I managed to snag it for $8 from Gamefly in a sale and if I'd known it could be this fun and addicting, I would have bought it outright on the day of release at full price. I'm surprised they never threw together a demo to showcase this thing.
Then again, there is the issue of them having a buttload of bugs present like floors being choosy as to whether they're tangible or not. It is rife with weird glitches and worse still, the Prince has to be independently "smart" from the player because he is constantly adjusting to the terrain and surfaces he's navigating so half the process in the gameplay is trusting him to catch a beam, out-climb a saw blade in a wall or NOT to spring off a ledge to his death so commands will make him do a number of different things based on different context, thankfully the game has a near-perfect learning curve, but expect the bugs to appear at any time.
Now I'd say that at least 80% of my gruesome deaths turned out to be pilot error because I don't know when to NOT hit the jump button while traversing a chasm wall or something shiny caught my attention and I didn't focus on where the Prince was or misjudged a a jump's timing making it quite certainly my own damn fault.
The again, 20% of them were because ledges, beams and surfaces were not recognized by the Prince mid-jump and he plummeted to his death without my help. Sometimes platforms would forget to exist and he'd fall through the floor for no reason and sometimes frozen stuff doesn't stay frozen per se during his many, murderous platforming puzzles depending on your ability to navigate across a room using only sheets of flowing water as jumping surfaces and leaks within the room as beams. Most of the game works like a swiss watch, but when the buggy stuff made itself known during the water platforming puzzles I was less than pleased.
In the end, I really REALLY enjoyed Forgotten Sands, warts and all. I even recommend it. My primary gripes that sit with the game are the fairly stupid writing and mildly generic "me too!" feel that stems from a clumsy attempt at revising better written and already existing (game) history. And THEN there's also the bug riddled mess of the game itself, which is fairly minimal when you find yourself sucked into the game as you leap from frozen sheets of water, scramble past rolling saw blades and land in the middle of thirty sand zombies as you wield elemental spells, saving yourself with rewind powers and cutting a path of awesome through normal and aerial sword attacks.
It's pretty freaking cool. I never finished Sands of Time, but I'm hoping to fix that now that Ubisoft put out an HD remake of the original three titles.
Anyway, check Forgotten Sands out and if you like it then you'll be excited by the retroactive gameplay available in the previous titles, particularly Sands of Time. This is 3D platforming at its finest and an excellent example of Ubisoft's greatest asset that defines the majority of their (better) titles, what with all the running, climbing, jumping and hitting stuff.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Angiest Birds EVAR!!!!
(My primary inspiration for downloading the game in the first place)
So stuffing irate birds into slingshots and launching them at egg-thieving swine sounds like the most absurd thing since a plumber ate mushrooms, flowers and stars and went on a violent rampage through a fungal kingdom to take down a lizard king.
So you can understand why it's the highest selling title on its first and secondary platforms of sale. It positively ruled over the iPhone App marketplace, then it soared onto Nokia phones.
(Motivation? Pfft! Let's go for some classic Looney Tunes style revenge at its finest!)
It has since made the trip to the PlayStation Network as one of their "Minis" titles compatible with PS3 and PSP systems. After fighting for my iPhone with my beloved for months, I felt that this purchase was essential. The translation is perfect from the touch phone onto the PS3 (haven't tried it on th PSP yet), the screen resolution seems odd from the transition from phone to console, but the awkwardness is short lived as the need to attack pigs with birds will overtake your concern for aesthetics.
The controls are tight and feel very natural making users of the original game feel right at home as they fight pork with poultry. The idea is still the same, use your arsenal of birds to tear down the protective pig structures and eliminate all pigs on screen, with a secondary mission statement of collecting hidden golden eggs.
I know it sounds simple, but there's a reason people are so addicted and obsessed with this. If you haven't tried it, make every effort to do so. Immediately. Entertainment this amazing is rarely so inexpensive (Like $1 or $2 for the primary game on the iPhone, $4 for the PS3 version with a proposed Xbox Arcade version inbound).
It's too good NOT to own and it's indie stuff like this and Minecraft that bring all the nerdy purity back to gaming that we all need in a day and age when gaming takes itself too seriously and game makers themselves are so concerned with getting their bottom line that they forget to install the fun in them anymore.
How did Yahtzee put it? Something about how back in the day games could be about a french chef riding a praying mantis wielding a shotgun that shoots Velociraptors from its barrels? Yeah, it's THAT kind of "ARE YOU HIGH?!?!" sort of fun that makes Angry Birds a breath of fresh air.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Xbox Rewards: The Proof is in your Head
Have a look.
Soooooooooooooo... Free stuff. Free stuff is awesome and unlike my uninspiring experience with Playstation Network (Hey! Give us $50 and we'll let you download some games you don't want and some games you ALREADY OWN!), I am prone to spring into action whenever I hear someting is "free" on Xbox Live as I occasionally get something cool or weird.
This leads us to the recent bs parade Microsoft is drumming up but blanketing in ambiguity. The premise is that you are rewarded for PLAYING stuff after logging in to Xbox Live and doing stuff. Supposedly, your watching Netflix, playing demos, buying stuff and... doing... stuff, counts towards being deserving of points.
If I seem cynnical, that stems from the fact that I have almost 44k in achievement points and I have practically poured money into my Xbox until I recently found the love of Valve's Steam platform on my PC and their jaw-dropping, insanity sales. Even then, I'm looking at my Xbox right now and I've supposedly been a Rewards member since they announced it (I joined and everything) and I've even spent about $40 since signing up on Xbox Live DLC, Indie games and Arcade titles between my beating Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands & Force Unleashed 2.
I finally had a free weekend. I caught up.
MY POINT? Where the fuck are MY points? I've had Netflix stuff running constantly on this machine and I'm not showing a damn thing. Some of my friends are like HEROES to this cause because they do NOTHING but spend money on crap for Xbox live and their accounts are active constantly, they play online all the time and their achievements are legion. Except for that one asshole, he know who he is. Anyway, these guys aren't seeing anything yet either.
Maybe it'll correct itself, maybe we'll be swimming in points like Scrooge McDuck in actual money. But in the meantime I'm staring at a point score that's calling me a liar and makes me wonder why I'm bothering to fiddle with my console when I should be paying attention to the next Steam sale.
Now don't get me wrong, I fucking LOVE Xbox Live and I've grown to depend on it with surprising ease, but I should be seeing SOMETHING by now with all the crap I did. Even the immediate rewards aren't showing that they promised from their rewards site yet.
Get your shit together, Microsoft. Don't box-tease us, Steam will whip your asses in the fight for my time and money if you can't stick with your own agenda.
PS: I've been pumping time and money into my Xbox for years, where's my pre-existing account rewards? All you seem to be pushing are first-timers.
Soooooooooooooo... Free stuff. Free stuff is awesome and unlike my uninspiring experience with Playstation Network (Hey! Give us $50 and we'll let you download some games you don't want and some games you ALREADY OWN!), I am prone to spring into action whenever I hear someting is "free" on Xbox Live as I occasionally get something cool or weird.
This leads us to the recent bs parade Microsoft is drumming up but blanketing in ambiguity. The premise is that you are rewarded for PLAYING stuff after logging in to Xbox Live and doing stuff. Supposedly, your watching Netflix, playing demos, buying stuff and... doing... stuff, counts towards being deserving of points.
If I seem cynnical, that stems from the fact that I have almost 44k in achievement points and I have practically poured money into my Xbox until I recently found the love of Valve's Steam platform on my PC and their jaw-dropping, insanity sales. Even then, I'm looking at my Xbox right now and I've supposedly been a Rewards member since they announced it (I joined and everything) and I've even spent about $40 since signing up on Xbox Live DLC, Indie games and Arcade titles between my beating Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands & Force Unleashed 2.
I finally had a free weekend. I caught up.
MY POINT? Where the fuck are MY points? I've had Netflix stuff running constantly on this machine and I'm not showing a damn thing. Some of my friends are like HEROES to this cause because they do NOTHING but spend money on crap for Xbox live and their accounts are active constantly, they play online all the time and their achievements are legion. Except for that one asshole, he know who he is. Anyway, these guys aren't seeing anything yet either.
Maybe it'll correct itself, maybe we'll be swimming in points like Scrooge McDuck in actual money. But in the meantime I'm staring at a point score that's calling me a liar and makes me wonder why I'm bothering to fiddle with my console when I should be paying attention to the next Steam sale.
Now don't get me wrong, I fucking LOVE Xbox Live and I've grown to depend on it with surprising ease, but I should be seeing SOMETHING by now with all the crap I did. Even the immediate rewards aren't showing that they promised from their rewards site yet.
Get your shit together, Microsoft. Don't box-tease us, Steam will whip your asses in the fight for my time and money if you can't stick with your own agenda.
PS: I've been pumping time and money into my Xbox for years, where's my pre-existing account rewards? All you seem to be pushing are first-timers.
Nintendo Regrets Other M
Thanks to Kotaku, We've learned that Nintendo apparently regrets the lack of success that Other M has yet to enjoy compared to the super successful Metroid Prime series.
For the record, I didn't buy the game in spite of my love for Team Ninja and Metroid.
Reading their reactions there are a number of things they are aware of, primarily that the portrayal of Samus Aran was so bad (apparently this is meant to be an origin story showing a semi-helpless, vulnerable girl who is... supposed to grow into a Bounty Hunter that Space Pirates use in horror stories?).
Now Nintendo Fans aren't like other fans and I'm sure Nintendo fans appreciate the distinction (though I can't fathom why) and their responses to this are... intriguing. Nintendo's mouthpiece Reggie came out and admitted that they don't understand why you suckers aren't buying this by the truckload and the responses to this query are the typically psychotic gurglings that rabid Nintendo nerds are known to expel:
Now, before you cry racism, I mean that they designed the game with Japanese tastes and story in mind. Team Ninja was never really good at telling a story, in fact they are AWFUL at it, but they ARE the experts when it comes to fast, furious and hardcore interactive experiences. And boobs, but to their credit I think the boobs were really the result of their former commander-in-chief, Itagaki.
I liked the boobs though, it wasn't ashamed of throwing the fact that they had bait for their core demographic and they delivered more than was expected every time. I really respect them for that. And the games. The games were awesome and Ninja Gaiden still put Hardcore back on the map, nevermind how DOA and DOA2 revitalized my love of fighting games to an extreme.
Still, the boobs helped.
Metroid is amazing stuff, it's sweet sci-fi goodness without all the typical calories of typical Japanese games and offers an unmatched sense of exploration combined with wild action earmarking your progress. Metroid Prime did the impossible and put that very formula into a First Person shooter with amazing visuals giving the sense of control a huge boost in the sense of immersion with a strong story that you MADE happen before your eyes.
From screens, movies and demos I've seen that the action is there showing the true mark of Team Ninja's greatest strength as well as Nintendo's support in creating the classic aesthetic we all know and love. I've also seen some of the cinemas which bring to light something we have never seen in a Metroid game in years, influence from the Japanese market.
Don't think it's a bad thing? Samus was never more popular than when she was in her suit and the Japanese (Developers) are more interested in getting her out of it to inflict tentacles on her. They did it for Smash Bros and they were clearly overwhelmed with the urge to strip her in this as well.
The Japanese developers are more interested in being creepy and perverted about showing her in a skin tight suit than in making her game amazing, the sexism IS there because they can't/won't overlook the fact that she's a woman and just make a great, satisfying action game. Seeing Samus pouting after being bossed around by some officious prick in the trailers made me a little irked because over here Samus represents more than a woman to exploit and clearly the Japanese overlook that or ignore it outright as they prepare the tentacles.
The revealing of her gender was a shocking surprise in the first Metroid game and was only revealed if you were either an expert or a recipient of infamous Justin Bailey code. It made people reconsider women as game characters and was culturally beyond important to female gamers for demonstrating an important lesson in gender equality. Dismiss it if you will, but the quality in game design coupled with the base concept of a female bounty hunter clearing ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING PLANETS teeming with monsters that can EAT LIFE right out of you. Her lack of words was punctuated by her knack for surviving all the planets she leaves in her near-death escapes after murdering every living thing there, so we were satisfied with her having little to do/say with people save for the journals and notes in Prime that paint her personality as a smart, grizzled and tactically gifted person in her profession.
None of which is demonstrated by Other M. Per my memories of the Nintendo comic in the 90's and game lore, Samus was orphaned and raised by wise and powerful beings that molded her into a warrior and gave her a one-of-a-kind suit of their manufacture that could access ancient technology as well as manipulate current tech and provide unmatched combat flexibility. The Chozo that raised her were slaughtered and the first and third games dealt with her dealing deadly revenge on everyone involved; Prime dabbled on the original story arc, but made a point to create its own distinct storyline that paid extensive homage to it predecessors and built on its canon.
I don't mind that they made something new, I mind that they let it drift so far from where it should have been and did nothing to step in and save it. Story means a lot to a franchise like Metroid and making an origin story is a moot point when it's totally inaccurate towards a character they've been building up for so many years that already HAS an origin we don't need revealed. We want something new, fresh and innovative and I was sold on at least giving the gameplay a shot until I saw the distinctly japanese scene with a pathetic little blonde girl I was told was Samus being lectured by some guy in what I presume was some sort of Space Police uniform. That did more damage to my potential enjoyment of the game than anything else.
So I did the only prudent thing, I withdrew my preorder and waited for reviews.
The reviews from Magazines came out as a resounding C+/B- grade for the game, which wasn't a point in its favor and they also noted that that tearing the teeth out of a Character that's ALL teeth leaves her no leg to stand on making her something altogether different. The grade applied to the gameplay, which I'm still very curious about, but if I can't immerse myself in a game I can't justify buying it brand new, which means Nintendo won't be getting a dime from me when I go out of my way to buy it used.
I've seen the used price drop like a rock so I'll pick it up in a sale (a USED sale), but Nintendo messed up. Team Ninja did fine from what I can see, but the story and mewling pissant they have portraying the role of Samus is so bad that I can't say I'm surprised that they alienated their Metroid fan market by turning the girl that had everything into a child that has nothing save a cookie-cutter story with substandard storytelling techniques used by hack anime writers with a control scheme that's dangerously experimental at best making the whole thing a risky proposition.
Anyway, I'm gonna froth and pass out. I know it's old news, but it needs to be stressed/bitched about.
For the record, I didn't buy the game in spite of my love for Team Ninja and Metroid.
Reading their reactions there are a number of things they are aware of, primarily that the portrayal of Samus Aran was so bad (apparently this is meant to be an origin story showing a semi-helpless, vulnerable girl who is... supposed to grow into a Bounty Hunter that Space Pirates use in horror stories?).
Now Nintendo Fans aren't like other fans and I'm sure Nintendo fans appreciate the distinction (though I can't fathom why) and their responses to this are... intriguing. Nintendo's mouthpiece Reggie came out and admitted that they don't understand why you suckers aren't buying this by the truckload and the responses to this query are the typically psychotic gurglings that rabid Nintendo nerds are known to expel:
- It's Team Ninja's fault
- It's the Control Scheme
- It's Sexist(?)
- It's Not identical to older Metroid Games
- It's Not identical to recent Metroid Games
- It's too different!
- It's too similar!
Now, before you cry racism, I mean that they designed the game with Japanese tastes and story in mind. Team Ninja was never really good at telling a story, in fact they are AWFUL at it, but they ARE the experts when it comes to fast, furious and hardcore interactive experiences. And boobs, but to their credit I think the boobs were really the result of their former commander-in-chief, Itagaki.
I liked the boobs though, it wasn't ashamed of throwing the fact that they had bait for their core demographic and they delivered more than was expected every time. I really respect them for that. And the games. The games were awesome and Ninja Gaiden still put Hardcore back on the map, nevermind how DOA and DOA2 revitalized my love of fighting games to an extreme.
Still, the boobs helped.
Metroid is amazing stuff, it's sweet sci-fi goodness without all the typical calories of typical Japanese games and offers an unmatched sense of exploration combined with wild action earmarking your progress. Metroid Prime did the impossible and put that very formula into a First Person shooter with amazing visuals giving the sense of control a huge boost in the sense of immersion with a strong story that you MADE happen before your eyes.
From screens, movies and demos I've seen that the action is there showing the true mark of Team Ninja's greatest strength as well as Nintendo's support in creating the classic aesthetic we all know and love. I've also seen some of the cinemas which bring to light something we have never seen in a Metroid game in years, influence from the Japanese market.
Don't think it's a bad thing? Samus was never more popular than when she was in her suit and the Japanese (Developers) are more interested in getting her out of it to inflict tentacles on her. They did it for Smash Bros and they were clearly overwhelmed with the urge to strip her in this as well.
The Japanese developers are more interested in being creepy and perverted about showing her in a skin tight suit than in making her game amazing, the sexism IS there because they can't/won't overlook the fact that she's a woman and just make a great, satisfying action game. Seeing Samus pouting after being bossed around by some officious prick in the trailers made me a little irked because over here Samus represents more than a woman to exploit and clearly the Japanese overlook that or ignore it outright as they prepare the tentacles.
The revealing of her gender was a shocking surprise in the first Metroid game and was only revealed if you were either an expert or a recipient of infamous Justin Bailey code. It made people reconsider women as game characters and was culturally beyond important to female gamers for demonstrating an important lesson in gender equality. Dismiss it if you will, but the quality in game design coupled with the base concept of a female bounty hunter clearing ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING PLANETS teeming with monsters that can EAT LIFE right out of you. Her lack of words was punctuated by her knack for surviving all the planets she leaves in her near-death escapes after murdering every living thing there, so we were satisfied with her having little to do/say with people save for the journals and notes in Prime that paint her personality as a smart, grizzled and tactically gifted person in her profession.
None of which is demonstrated by Other M. Per my memories of the Nintendo comic in the 90's and game lore, Samus was orphaned and raised by wise and powerful beings that molded her into a warrior and gave her a one-of-a-kind suit of their manufacture that could access ancient technology as well as manipulate current tech and provide unmatched combat flexibility. The Chozo that raised her were slaughtered and the first and third games dealt with her dealing deadly revenge on everyone involved; Prime dabbled on the original story arc, but made a point to create its own distinct storyline that paid extensive homage to it predecessors and built on its canon.
I don't mind that they made something new, I mind that they let it drift so far from where it should have been and did nothing to step in and save it. Story means a lot to a franchise like Metroid and making an origin story is a moot point when it's totally inaccurate towards a character they've been building up for so many years that already HAS an origin we don't need revealed. We want something new, fresh and innovative and I was sold on at least giving the gameplay a shot until I saw the distinctly japanese scene with a pathetic little blonde girl I was told was Samus being lectured by some guy in what I presume was some sort of Space Police uniform. That did more damage to my potential enjoyment of the game than anything else.
So I did the only prudent thing, I withdrew my preorder and waited for reviews.
The reviews from Magazines came out as a resounding C+/B- grade for the game, which wasn't a point in its favor and they also noted that that tearing the teeth out of a Character that's ALL teeth leaves her no leg to stand on making her something altogether different. The grade applied to the gameplay, which I'm still very curious about, but if I can't immerse myself in a game I can't justify buying it brand new, which means Nintendo won't be getting a dime from me when I go out of my way to buy it used.
I've seen the used price drop like a rock so I'll pick it up in a sale (a USED sale), but Nintendo messed up. Team Ninja did fine from what I can see, but the story and mewling pissant they have portraying the role of Samus is so bad that I can't say I'm surprised that they alienated their Metroid fan market by turning the girl that had everything into a child that has nothing save a cookie-cutter story with substandard storytelling techniques used by hack anime writers with a control scheme that's dangerously experimental at best making the whole thing a risky proposition.
Anyway, I'm gonna froth and pass out. I know it's old news, but it needs to be stressed/bitched about.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
And the rolling blue thing came back...
So Sonic the Hedgehog has had an interesting time of it in the last decade. Between being kicked out of the console race and actually joining Mario for different games (Olympics, Smash Bros.) the biggest disgrace put to this rodent has always been the abusive 3D garbage they put him through. For all the lauded talent at Sonic Team and Sega in general, they seem to be hopelessly incompetent in giving the damn hedgehog a fighting chance in a 3D environment.
Then again... there was one effort which was actually pretty good that came out about a decade ago to kick off the exquisite Dreamcast console of legend.
Naturally, I'm referring to the greatest Sonic debate given form: Sonic Adventure!
In this context, I should clarify that I'm discussing the recent XBLA/PSN downloadable version of the game and its "DX" add-on. For the record, I only bought this for the Xbox 360.
(Opening for Sonic Adventure DX)
Sonic is challenged by Robotnik to face some gelatinous abomination that he soon learns is a guardian deity being manipulated by the Chaos Emeralds. When Sonic realizes this, he scours the world for the help of his friends and the remaining Emeralds in an attempt to keep Chaos from being completely revived.
The real enemy that they fail to point out is actually THE DAMN CAMERA. It will fight you when you need it most (or when you need it at all) and will lead you into so many MANY spikey death traps and doom-filled chasms that you won't believe your eyes or how inclined you'll be to toss your controller in protest at cheap deaths... which is funny, because I distinctly recall my enjoyment of the original game being just like this, ditto for the gamecube reboot.
It's sad, but cheap deaths occur constantly in this direct transfer from the Dreamcast. They didn't fix a damn thing from its original days which is a mixed result because what they are currently selling online is the original Dreamcast version of the game with a separate "DX" Director's Cut add-on (sold separately). Why is this problematic? Because it came out the exact same way on the Gamecube a few years ago and they hadn't updated a damn thing back then and yet you need to pay extra for mind-numbing emblem hunting, 1 additional character (Metal Sonic) and some pointless mission modes. None of the technical glitches, camera problems, not to mention visual ticks are updated in this download, should you choose to buy it.
What do I mean by updated? Well, in ten years it doesn't hurt to add some polish to justify a game that some people (ME!) have already purchased twice. As it stands, the only perk I can see from downloading this was a bevvy of achievements to prove I can beat Sonic Adventure. That's cool and all, but you know what's cooler? FIXING SHIT THAT SHOULD HAVE WORKED RIGHT TEN YEARS AGO!!!!
Now understand that Nintendo deserves a LOT of criticism for their active sabotage of their own industry and cowardly game design, in spite of sweaty fanboys rushing to their defense out of blind loyalty and misplaced affection, but Here's the biggest reason Nintendo beat Sega, THEIR STUFF WORKS! Their releases take so long because they always work.
Nintendo doesn't really need to update Mario games and Mario 64 is probably the best comparative example. Mario's 3D romp works right the first time and the camera doesn't actively work against you and the game isn't a half-assed production that leads to constant cheap deaths. The reason the Wii-download of Mario 64 is perfect is because it was done right the first damn time and that shows to this day. That said, I still never finished Mario 64 or really found myself that enthralled by it because it didn't have the same pace as the original games, an issue they sought to address with great fervor with every 3D Mario game since.
(Someone playing as Super Sonic in Windy Valley)
But I HAVE purchased Sonic Adventure three times now. The reason I keep buying Sonic adventure? It looks great and within its fluid action lies a lot of fun that beautifully emulates the platformer action of Sonic's original games. It outshines Mario visually in so many ways and unlike the portly Italian, this rodent has always had style on his side. Not only that, but Sonic Adventure's loose RPG application was enough to blow one's mind back in the time of its release applying voice, story and an open world for Sonic to wander there was a lot of opportunity for fun to be had and a definite change in how this platformer would be perceived. Between blood-boiling moments of rage I'd catch myself in the classic "gaming hunch" so I could focus on the challenging fun I was having at high speeds. Sonic can also talk, unlike Mario who apparently suffered some brain damage and has a terrifyingly limited vocabulary. Style and Speech aren't things to be dismissed, but Nintendo clearly thinks otherwise and thus immersion is never really a factor with Mario.
Sonic Adventure offers a story (not a great one, but an actual story), dialogue between characters, a multi-perspective view of the game through the eyes of all of Sonic's friends, environments and visuals that look great to this day (despite the hideous facial ticks all the character have when they talk... ten years ago it was okay, but now it looks like Sonic's face will tear off) and rock-solid gameplay that stands as the only decent transition of high-speed Sonic gaming in 3D to this day. There's a reason this has always been so popular and the increasingly awful Sonic games Sega's been putting out only steeled the gaming community's resolve to demand a current generation re-release.
Yet instead of a highly polished, re-dubbed, camera fixed version of Sonic Adventure we have to make do with buggy Dreamcast leavings and lackluster Gamecube extras. It's a dick move by Sega, but at least it's a move in the right direction for Sonic.
At most, maybe we can hope for an update down the line where Sega addresses the horrendous flaws, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Considering I waited over a damn year for Sega to add Phantasy Star Universe's final achievement, I think I'm done trusting them with pretty much anything. Especially maintenance on their own reputation.
Then again... there was one effort which was actually pretty good that came out about a decade ago to kick off the exquisite Dreamcast console of legend.
Naturally, I'm referring to the greatest Sonic debate given form: Sonic Adventure!
In this context, I should clarify that I'm discussing the recent XBLA/PSN downloadable version of the game and its "DX" add-on. For the record, I only bought this for the Xbox 360.
(Opening for Sonic Adventure DX)
Sonic is challenged by Robotnik to face some gelatinous abomination that he soon learns is a guardian deity being manipulated by the Chaos Emeralds. When Sonic realizes this, he scours the world for the help of his friends and the remaining Emeralds in an attempt to keep Chaos from being completely revived.
The real enemy that they fail to point out is actually THE DAMN CAMERA. It will fight you when you need it most (or when you need it at all) and will lead you into so many MANY spikey death traps and doom-filled chasms that you won't believe your eyes or how inclined you'll be to toss your controller in protest at cheap deaths... which is funny, because I distinctly recall my enjoyment of the original game being just like this, ditto for the gamecube reboot.
It's sad, but cheap deaths occur constantly in this direct transfer from the Dreamcast. They didn't fix a damn thing from its original days which is a mixed result because what they are currently selling online is the original Dreamcast version of the game with a separate "DX" Director's Cut add-on (sold separately). Why is this problematic? Because it came out the exact same way on the Gamecube a few years ago and they hadn't updated a damn thing back then and yet you need to pay extra for mind-numbing emblem hunting, 1 additional character (Metal Sonic) and some pointless mission modes. None of the technical glitches, camera problems, not to mention visual ticks are updated in this download, should you choose to buy it.
What do I mean by updated? Well, in ten years it doesn't hurt to add some polish to justify a game that some people (ME!) have already purchased twice. As it stands, the only perk I can see from downloading this was a bevvy of achievements to prove I can beat Sonic Adventure. That's cool and all, but you know what's cooler? FIXING SHIT THAT SHOULD HAVE WORKED RIGHT TEN YEARS AGO!!!!
Now understand that Nintendo deserves a LOT of criticism for their active sabotage of their own industry and cowardly game design, in spite of sweaty fanboys rushing to their defense out of blind loyalty and misplaced affection, but Here's the biggest reason Nintendo beat Sega, THEIR STUFF WORKS! Their releases take so long because they always work.
Nintendo doesn't really need to update Mario games and Mario 64 is probably the best comparative example. Mario's 3D romp works right the first time and the camera doesn't actively work against you and the game isn't a half-assed production that leads to constant cheap deaths. The reason the Wii-download of Mario 64 is perfect is because it was done right the first damn time and that shows to this day. That said, I still never finished Mario 64 or really found myself that enthralled by it because it didn't have the same pace as the original games, an issue they sought to address with great fervor with every 3D Mario game since.
(Someone playing as Super Sonic in Windy Valley)
But I HAVE purchased Sonic Adventure three times now. The reason I keep buying Sonic adventure? It looks great and within its fluid action lies a lot of fun that beautifully emulates the platformer action of Sonic's original games. It outshines Mario visually in so many ways and unlike the portly Italian, this rodent has always had style on his side. Not only that, but Sonic Adventure's loose RPG application was enough to blow one's mind back in the time of its release applying voice, story and an open world for Sonic to wander there was a lot of opportunity for fun to be had and a definite change in how this platformer would be perceived. Between blood-boiling moments of rage I'd catch myself in the classic "gaming hunch" so I could focus on the challenging fun I was having at high speeds. Sonic can also talk, unlike Mario who apparently suffered some brain damage and has a terrifyingly limited vocabulary. Style and Speech aren't things to be dismissed, but Nintendo clearly thinks otherwise and thus immersion is never really a factor with Mario.
Sonic Adventure offers a story (not a great one, but an actual story), dialogue between characters, a multi-perspective view of the game through the eyes of all of Sonic's friends, environments and visuals that look great to this day (despite the hideous facial ticks all the character have when they talk... ten years ago it was okay, but now it looks like Sonic's face will tear off) and rock-solid gameplay that stands as the only decent transition of high-speed Sonic gaming in 3D to this day. There's a reason this has always been so popular and the increasingly awful Sonic games Sega's been putting out only steeled the gaming community's resolve to demand a current generation re-release.
Yet instead of a highly polished, re-dubbed, camera fixed version of Sonic Adventure we have to make do with buggy Dreamcast leavings and lackluster Gamecube extras. It's a dick move by Sega, but at least it's a move in the right direction for Sonic.
At most, maybe we can hope for an update down the line where Sega addresses the horrendous flaws, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Considering I waited over a damn year for Sega to add Phantasy Star Universe's final achievement, I think I'm done trusting them with pretty much anything. Especially maintenance on their own reputation.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It's Parasitic in name only... Well, technically.
So... Parasite Eve, a game with a checkered past if ever there was one, is about to have a sequel after almost ten years of sitting on the back burner where drunken buffoon publisher, Square Enix, placed it expecting no one to care that they had intended to make it a sub-par cellphone title exclusive to their nation.
Naturally, I'm here to piss and moan about the upcoming PSP exclusive: Parasite Eve: 3rd Birthday.
(Opening for the original Parasite Eve, a woman possessed goes on a horrible rampage across Manhattan that only a lone cop can end, a cop whose only advantage is that she is immune to the powers of this monstrous woman.)
The original game was amazing! It ran on the Final Fantasy 7 engine so it looked awesome and had a unique action gimmick where it operated similarly to a turnbased RPG in combat, but you could run around and change position at your leisure in real time so you could actually DODGE things. It was inspiring, but harsh and uninformed critics claimed it was trying to horn in on Resident Evil's market, which anyone who played it would agree was an erroneous assessment. PE is actually an RPG with an action flair, while RE is the exact opposite an action game with an RPG flair.
A strong, story driven game with a powerful female protagonist set this title apart for a long time and even outdid the book of its origin and the (terrible) movie based on said book. To this day it stands as a testament to Square Enix's ability to craft an amazingly unique experience and keep many a playstation memory card on hand as players strive for the elusive secret ending.
Or at least it USED to stand for something on how Square made games...
Abandoning the pretense of originality, PE2 is at its core a spiritual ripoff of Resident Evil right down to the use of an evil corporation playing with science in underground labs that went awry.
There's also the strange distinction between two Ayas: The one you see and the one you play, the one you SEE in the CG movies is a childlike asian fantasy given form and the one you PLAY is a voluptuous, curvy amazon whom you actually control on screen as she kicks ass and takes names. Two completely different women... it's weird. If there's ANY question, I'm more of a fan of the playable Aya. Just sayin.
Anyway, the controls for PE2 were (without question) ripped from the Resident Evil series at the time where Aya became something of a human go-kart that could wield massive artillery, psychic powers and a gunblade. That's right, you can wield a freakin' Gunblade from Final Fantasy 8 in this thing. It's awesome!!! The story is a half-baked monster hunt that becomes an attack on an Umbrella-esque laboratory hidden beneath death valley or something at the base of an abandoned mine where horrific human experiments have taken place.
Given all the goofy crap this game offered, I can't help but adore it. It was definitely half-assed when compared to the majestic creature that was PE1, but hot damn I've gone through PE2 about 30 times or so and I plan to go another 30 if I can help it because it's THAT fun and it has enormous replay value in addition to gorgeous visuals that actually look alright today.
But while the introduction of an Umbrella-esque entity and man-made monsters set the stage for an exciting potential follow-up, the only thing it has yielded so far is sadness...
(PE: 3rd birthday trailer)
So in the midst of online gaming, next generation visuals, powerful consoles, diverse potential additions to Squenix's development arsenal like... decent writers out of Eidos, maybe... Squenix instead chose to whittle PE's decent narrative, its exquisite sense of exploration in a mundane setting gone mad and its immersive role-playing traits down to just another sub-par looking shooter on the PSP with cold, inhuman looking CG characters breaking up the action with their innate creepiness and (likely) crappy gameplay cobbled together by guys with no real shooter experience save for the awful FF7 "Vincent May Cry" tie-in game to Advent Children.
That Squenix can continue to make such amazingly poor decisions saddens me greatly. I'll rent this sucker on gamefly, but I won't be jumping into another purchase on a portable system I don't play except on special occasions.
Meanwhile, until it comes out I'll be playing the first and second games trying to remember what made me love the series so much and why I'm still boycotting Square-Enix for ruining what I used to enjoy so much and then letting assholes like the guy who ruined FF13 rub it in our faces that we're just too "western" to understand a series of bad choices in making a shitty game.
Sorry Squenix, we saw what you did there...
Naturally, I'm here to piss and moan about the upcoming PSP exclusive: Parasite Eve: 3rd Birthday.
(Opening for the original Parasite Eve, a woman possessed goes on a horrible rampage across Manhattan that only a lone cop can end, a cop whose only advantage is that she is immune to the powers of this monstrous woman.)
The original game was amazing! It ran on the Final Fantasy 7 engine so it looked awesome and had a unique action gimmick where it operated similarly to a turnbased RPG in combat, but you could run around and change position at your leisure in real time so you could actually DODGE things. It was inspiring, but harsh and uninformed critics claimed it was trying to horn in on Resident Evil's market, which anyone who played it would agree was an erroneous assessment. PE is actually an RPG with an action flair, while RE is the exact opposite an action game with an RPG flair.
A strong, story driven game with a powerful female protagonist set this title apart for a long time and even outdid the book of its origin and the (terrible) movie based on said book. To this day it stands as a testament to Square Enix's ability to craft an amazingly unique experience and keep many a playstation memory card on hand as players strive for the elusive secret ending.
Or at least it USED to stand for something on how Square made games...
Abandoning the pretense of originality, PE2 is at its core a spiritual ripoff of Resident Evil right down to the use of an evil corporation playing with science in underground labs that went awry.
There's also the strange distinction between two Ayas: The one you see and the one you play, the one you SEE in the CG movies is a childlike asian fantasy given form and the one you PLAY is a voluptuous, curvy amazon whom you actually control on screen as she kicks ass and takes names. Two completely different women... it's weird. If there's ANY question, I'm more of a fan of the playable Aya. Just sayin.
Anyway, the controls for PE2 were (without question) ripped from the Resident Evil series at the time where Aya became something of a human go-kart that could wield massive artillery, psychic powers and a gunblade. That's right, you can wield a freakin' Gunblade from Final Fantasy 8 in this thing. It's awesome!!! The story is a half-baked monster hunt that becomes an attack on an Umbrella-esque laboratory hidden beneath death valley or something at the base of an abandoned mine where horrific human experiments have taken place.
Given all the goofy crap this game offered, I can't help but adore it. It was definitely half-assed when compared to the majestic creature that was PE1, but hot damn I've gone through PE2 about 30 times or so and I plan to go another 30 if I can help it because it's THAT fun and it has enormous replay value in addition to gorgeous visuals that actually look alright today.
But while the introduction of an Umbrella-esque entity and man-made monsters set the stage for an exciting potential follow-up, the only thing it has yielded so far is sadness...
(PE: 3rd birthday trailer)
So in the midst of online gaming, next generation visuals, powerful consoles, diverse potential additions to Squenix's development arsenal like... decent writers out of Eidos, maybe... Squenix instead chose to whittle PE's decent narrative, its exquisite sense of exploration in a mundane setting gone mad and its immersive role-playing traits down to just another sub-par looking shooter on the PSP with cold, inhuman looking CG characters breaking up the action with their innate creepiness and (likely) crappy gameplay cobbled together by guys with no real shooter experience save for the awful FF7 "Vincent May Cry" tie-in game to Advent Children.
That Squenix can continue to make such amazingly poor decisions saddens me greatly. I'll rent this sucker on gamefly, but I won't be jumping into another purchase on a portable system I don't play except on special occasions.
Meanwhile, until it comes out I'll be playing the first and second games trying to remember what made me love the series so much and why I'm still boycotting Square-Enix for ruining what I used to enjoy so much and then letting assholes like the guy who ruined FF13 rub it in our faces that we're just too "western" to understand a series of bad choices in making a shitty game.
Sorry Squenix, we saw what you did there...
Keiji Inafune needs sex, GIVE HIM SOME!
Not sex from ME necessarily, but for the things this man is saying I feel he deserves it. Nevermind the fact that I worship the man for creating my Anti-Drug: Megaman!
In the growing division between east and west gaming recently (pitting games against one another like Mass Effect 2 versus Final Fantasy 13), Keiji Inafune has stood alone in his deafeningly harsh criticism of his country's products.
Stating that Japan is content with the cookie cutter industry of making generic, cookie-cutter games for the rising populace of female gamers and otherwise catering to nerdy shut-ins of Japan, Inafune made himself a terrifying wake-up call to gamers on either side of the pond. As many of the man's products were the only solace in my lonely childhood, I find myself compelled to consider his point of view.
His first bomb dropping assessment came at a press show unveiling Lost Planet 2, where he reportedly dressed as a pimp and unloaded on the state of affairs. His most recent bomb hurling episode went to far as to cut the legs out beneath Capcom making him easily the most disastrous personality since the guy who made Dead or Alive!
I gotta agree with the guy. I feel Japan has lost its roots of the quality output of the 16-bit days, where America got only a trickle of the goodness pouring down on the japanese masses and Japan squatted upon gaming consciousness like some great squid leering at our wallets with eager tentacles.
Oh god... I'm already talking tentacles.
Anyway, with the Wii going from Nintendo's last hope, to the best idea ever and the false security that came with the multiple mergers over the last several years, companies in the east have essentially become what America was back in the cold and dank Quake era of gaming where one or two drab, brown-colored shooters ruled the day until a few drops of creative gold leaked upon the console linked masses.
With Microsoft in play with the appearance of the first Xbox, a sleeping giant had awoken and we were only half aware of it. Take it from a guy who used to stand in the bushes outside Square-Enix's house with a machete and jar of Vap-o-rub, I don't even return their calls anymore when they ask why I don't show up now that I'm invited to things. Almost all of the stuff that I look forward to is happening on my own continent or in Europe.
Why bring this up now? Recently an amazing annual event that used to drive the beat of my heart and the flow of my soul occurred: Tokyo Game Show! With its booth babes and cosplay coupled with its exclusively awesome vision of things to come, TGS used to mean something. Part of its ineffective, impotent mark on the market lately is because of the internet spoiling news as it happens and the other half is that the stuff shown at TGS just doesn't register the almighty event that once commanded an industry. The cosplayers seem to catch more attention lately than the actual GAMES!!!
Conversely, the games that appear at European Game Shows, San Diego Comic-con or E3 actually appear as bombshell level news. Hell, even MGS: Rising video debuted on American soil as opposed to in Japan. That's nuts!
Before I get too tangental when I'm trying to break down another guy's tangents, I'll just concur with Inafune in saying that Japan needs to get its act together before they let idiots like the the fuckwit that ruined Final Fantasy 13 kill off all the venerable franchises still holding up the wobbly three and a half legged table that is Japan's game market.
In the growing division between east and west gaming recently (pitting games against one another like Mass Effect 2 versus Final Fantasy 13), Keiji Inafune has stood alone in his deafeningly harsh criticism of his country's products.
Stating that Japan is content with the cookie cutter industry of making generic, cookie-cutter games for the rising populace of female gamers and otherwise catering to nerdy shut-ins of Japan, Inafune made himself a terrifying wake-up call to gamers on either side of the pond. As many of the man's products were the only solace in my lonely childhood, I find myself compelled to consider his point of view.
His first bomb dropping assessment came at a press show unveiling Lost Planet 2, where he reportedly dressed as a pimp and unloaded on the state of affairs. His most recent bomb hurling episode went to far as to cut the legs out beneath Capcom making him easily the most disastrous personality since the guy who made Dead or Alive!
I gotta agree with the guy. I feel Japan has lost its roots of the quality output of the 16-bit days, where America got only a trickle of the goodness pouring down on the japanese masses and Japan squatted upon gaming consciousness like some great squid leering at our wallets with eager tentacles.
Oh god... I'm already talking tentacles.
Anyway, with the Wii going from Nintendo's last hope, to the best idea ever and the false security that came with the multiple mergers over the last several years, companies in the east have essentially become what America was back in the cold and dank Quake era of gaming where one or two drab, brown-colored shooters ruled the day until a few drops of creative gold leaked upon the console linked masses.
With Microsoft in play with the appearance of the first Xbox, a sleeping giant had awoken and we were only half aware of it. Take it from a guy who used to stand in the bushes outside Square-Enix's house with a machete and jar of Vap-o-rub, I don't even return their calls anymore when they ask why I don't show up now that I'm invited to things. Almost all of the stuff that I look forward to is happening on my own continent or in Europe.
Why bring this up now? Recently an amazing annual event that used to drive the beat of my heart and the flow of my soul occurred: Tokyo Game Show! With its booth babes and cosplay coupled with its exclusively awesome vision of things to come, TGS used to mean something. Part of its ineffective, impotent mark on the market lately is because of the internet spoiling news as it happens and the other half is that the stuff shown at TGS just doesn't register the almighty event that once commanded an industry. The cosplayers seem to catch more attention lately than the actual GAMES!!!
Conversely, the games that appear at European Game Shows, San Diego Comic-con or E3 actually appear as bombshell level news. Hell, even MGS: Rising video debuted on American soil as opposed to in Japan. That's nuts!
Before I get too tangental when I'm trying to break down another guy's tangents, I'll just concur with Inafune in saying that Japan needs to get its act together before they let idiots like the the fuckwit that ruined Final Fantasy 13 kill off all the venerable franchises still holding up the wobbly three and a half legged table that is Japan's game market.
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